The day started off difficult from the time her swollen, discolored feet hit the floor. Her oxygen levels were low. Her blood pressure was low. She was retaining fluid and struggling to breathe.
Her sense of humor however, was well intact and on the rise. She made that clear during the daily weight maintenance routine as she managed to scoot the scale across the kitchen floor several times to re-weigh until she found a weight that satisfied her. She let us know by stating, “There! That’s the way I like it.”
Seeing her boisterous personality made New Year’s Eve a happy day for all of us. Even if another possible trip to Christus St. Vincent was the ‘elephant in the room‘. The day was full of monitoring her levels and peaked with raising her oxygen tank at an all time high.
The countdown to the drop of the Waterford Crystal Ball in Times Square was ticking away on NBC’s Dick Clark‘s Rockin’ Eve (even though it is now hosted with Ryan Seacrest) and so were the hours where everyone would be awake to watch Mommy sleep through the night; counting the seconds between each long pause before the next breath.
I decided to sleep on the couch with her. At one point she put her perfectly manicured hand on my leg while we both dozed off. Memories again began to flutter through my head. I slept with my mother for pretty much the first ten to twelve years of my life. It was just the two of us most of that time. I can remember staying up to watch which celebrity Johnny Carson would have on The Tonight Show or which guest animal would pee on him! I enjoyed laughing along with her at Carol Burnett‘s silly antics on The Carol Burnett Show which also came on way too late for me to be up.
Memories… I know my children and I are making memories each and every day but which ones will stand out most to them forty, fifty, sixty years down the road when the roles are reversed? When they are taking care of me or when they are telling my grand babies stories of their mother. The thoughts make me smile. Happy smiles. Sincere smiles. Smiles that make me GLOW because I know that I am allowing God’s light to shine through me for Him and they see that. I also know that my mother sees that during this time of hers.
We went through so many things together: My mother and I. It only seems fitting to be going through this together too. Literally. Together. On the same couch. Counting down the same seconds of 2014, together.